spit out

my latest release is an acoustic song called Spit Out. i shot a music video with some friends for it.

i started this year intending to not write anything until the fall, at earliest. finishing Continue? had me crawling towards the end of 2024 and i wanted to recover. but this song came out pretty effortlessly, and i'm glad to have broken my intention for it.

i wrote this song from a place of pulp. pummelled. chewed up. spit out. the endless news about atrocities that, singularly, should be enough to make the world stop its rotation because of how heinously violating the truth of each is. i don't even have to say which one because you are likely thinking of one already. something so disturbing you think to yourself, "how is this even possible?" the feeling of "i must do something about this" launching you straight into wall after wall of "what the fuck can you do?" the building, cyclonic chatter inside you tossing fear, sadness and anger into your mind's air like homes built too fast in a storm that doesn't care that they're flying, doesn't care where they land.

and what can i do? honestly? i'm scared and sad and angry but - i can pause. i can breathe. i can be patient with my aversion to my feelings. i can sit still and look at that aversion. i can ask it questions. i can hear answers. i can hear myself telling myself how it makes sense that i'm scared to look. i can feel that. i can hold on a second from judging myself that this is not the answer, what does this do? and i can hear at least one answer, which is that it allows me to continue.

and in continuing, i can consider: how do i change?

back